Before Judging Thee I'll Start With Me

I watched some of Whitney Houston’s funeral today. I laughed some, and I cried some. Truth be told, I cried more than I laughed. So sad, so, so sad. But, I’m convinced Whitney knows Jesus and now her faith has become sight, and she now knows the reality of Jesus’ words as He sings over her “And I will always love you….”

Over the last few days as folks have discussed Whitney’s death, a lot of ‘what did she expect’ thoughts have been expressed….And all this got me thinking and remembering….

It’s September, 2003…..I’m pastor of Salem City Church in downtown Salem. Several months earlier we had met a man named Mark. Mark loved God and he was loved by the SCC family very, very much. The Lord was working in Mark’s life. God was changing him. However, even as Mark experienced God’s love and grace in ways he had never known, and even though he was surrounded by people who loved him and were committed to helping him, he continued to struggle with his heroin addiction. But, he was making efforts to get clean. Mark, having served in the Marines had even made arrangements to enter a drug rehab program run by the Veterans Administration.

So, late one afternoon in September, 2003 I’m sitting in the car listening to the radio while I waited for Vonnie to do some shopping at Target. My phone rings, and my friend on the other end says ‘Well, I have some bad news. Our friend Mark overdosed, and he died.’ I was shocked, dumbfounded, felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Mark, dead? How, why? We found out a few days later that Mark was actually on his way to Portland to enter the VA rehab program. But, he wanted one more high, just one more. So, he rented a motel room, shot up, overdosed and died.

Mark’s death was a tragedy. It was sad and we all grieved. Obviously, many things surrounding Mark’s death were grievous, but one that took me by surprise was the judgment and condemnation expressed by a few people who supposedly loved him. Things were said like “If he really loved God he would have not died this way”…..“Well, what did he expect? You reap what you sow!”.....”Once an addict always an addict.”

Let’s discuss……..

I John 3:1 says “How great is the love that the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” Mark was never seen by the Father as a drug addict. In God’s eyes this was not his identity, this was something he was caught up in, but not who he was. He was and is a child of God. The Bible says if we are in Christ we are ‘accepted in the beloved.’ God freely accepted Mark. And while that doesn’t mean He was obligated to accept everything Mark did, God accepted Mark! Mark knew this, and knowing this is what allowed him to live with a joy and a hope that seemed ‘out of place’ given the dire circumstances that surrounded most of his adult life.

Mark’s life was not so different that any of ours. The fact is we may not all be heroin addicts, but we are all broken. And before we judge Mark we need to take a look at our own issues. Heroin controlled Mark, what controls us? Is it anger, food, fear, a past failure? While whatever ‘holds’ us may not be something that has such dire physical consequence as heroin addiction, make no mistake, it still ‘has a hold on us.’

But here’s the good news….While our bad decisions and resulting actions have consequences, just as God accepted Mark He will accept us. My encouragement is this, rather than focus on and fear the consequences of our bad decisions and resulting actions, focus on the goodness of God. See, God’s acceptance of us is not based on our ‘badness’ but it is fully based on ‘His goodness.’ The Bible is clear…..The grace and love and mercy of God triumph over all our shortcomings! And no matter what we do, HIS LOVE is constant. His love for Mark never waned, never changed. It was the same before Mark came to Christ and it was the same in that motel room as he died. This is the grace and the love of God.

Final thought…..I’m 57 and I’ve been around ‘Christians’ most of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love God, I love the church, but sometimes I don’t ‘like us’ very much. We are so quick to ‘shoot our own’ and  too often we eagerly and vigorously expect some level of perfection/performance from others that we never expect of ourselves. And, I’m weary of it…..

Don’t judge Mark, don’t judge Whitney. If we want to judge anyone, let’s judge ourselves.